Why Do We Do That?

1. Why do brides wear white? Queen Victoria wore it in 1840 and everyone copied herBefore Victoria married Prince Albert, brides simply wore their best dress in any colour. Her white satin gown was copied by fashionable brides, and it stuck.
2. Why is the wedding ring worn on the fourth finger of the left hand? A vein was believed to run from it straight to the heartThe Romans called it the vena amoris, the vein of love, and believed it ran from that finger directly to the heart. Anatomy disagrees, but the finger stayed.
3. Why does the bride stand on the groom’s left at the altar? To keep his sword hand freeIn the days when a bride might be carried off, the groom kept his right hand free to draw his sword against rivals or her disapproving family.
4. Why do bridesmaids wear matching dresses? To confuse evil spirits about which one was the brideIn ancient Rome the bridesmaids dressed exactly like the bride so evil spirits, or jealous ex-suitors, could not tell which woman to target.
5. Where does the “best man” come from? The strongest friend, chosen to help seize or defend the brideAmong the Germanic tribes the groom brought his best swordsman to help carry off the bride, and then to stand guard at the wedding in case her family came for her.
6. What did the earliest bridal bouquets contain? Herbs and garlic, to ward off evilAncient brides carried pungent bundles of garlic, dill and herbs to scare off evil spirits and mask the smells of a world with fewer baths. Flowers came later.
7. Why does the bride throw her bouquet? To give the guests something to grab besides her dressIn medieval England, guests tore pieces off the bride’s gown for luck. Tossing the bouquet gave the crowd something else to chase and let her escape in one piece.
8. Why is the bride carried over the threshold? To keep evil spirits waiting at the door from entering through her feetThe Romans believed evil spirits gathered at doorways and that a bride who tripped on the way in brought bad luck. Carrying her in solved both problems.
9. Why do guests throw rice or confetti at the couple? Throwing grain wished them fertility and plentySince ancient Rome, guests have showered newlyweds with grain and seeds to wish them a fruitful marriage. Confetti is the tidier modern version.
10. Why did brides start wearing a veil? To hide her from evil spiritsRoman brides wore a flame-coloured veil called the flammeum to disguise them from evil spirits and the evil eye. Later, veils also kept a nervous groom from seeing his arranged bride too soon.
11. How did the tiered wedding cake begin? Guests stacked sweet buns as high as they could and the couple kissed over the topIn medieval England guests piled little spiced buns in a heap, and the couple tried to kiss over it without toppling the pile. A baker eventually iced the stack into tiers.
12. Why do couples keep the top tier of the cake? For the christening of their first babyThe top tier was saved for the christening, since a baby was expected within the year. As babies took longer, the tradition became a first-anniversary treat.
13. What is the forgotten last line of “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue”? And a sixpence in her shoeThe full Victorian rhyme from Lancashire ends “and a sixpence in her shoe”, a coin for good fortune. Brides in the UK still tuck one in.
14. In that rhyme, what does “something blue” stand for? Fidelity and loveBlue was the colour of purity, love and fidelity long before white took over. Brides in ancient Israel wore a blue ribbon for the same reason.
15. Why is a diamond the standard engagement ring? A 1940s advertising campaignArchduke Maximilian gave the first recorded diamond engagement ring in 1477, but it was De Beers’ 1947 slogan “A Diamond Is Forever” that made a diamond feel compulsory.
16. Where does the word “honeymoon” come from? A month of drinking honey mead after the weddingNewlyweds in old Europe were given a month’s supply of mead, a honey wine, to drink together. A month is one moon, so: honeymoon.
17. Why does the father “give away” the bride? A daughter was legally her father’s property to hand overFor most of history a marriage was a transfer of property, often with a dowry attached. The walk down the aisle was the handover.
18. Why does the groom toss the garter? Guests used to rip clothing off the bride for luckWedding guests believed a scrap of the bride’s clothing brought luck and would rush the couple to tear some off. Throwing the garter kept the mob at bay.
19. Why do we say a couple is “tying the knot”? A Celtic handfasting bound their hands with cordIn a Celtic handfasting the couple’s hands were bound together with ribbon or cord while they made their promises. The knot was the marriage.
20. Why is a wedding ring a plain circle? A circle has no end, so it stood for eternityThe ancient Egyptians exchanged rings of braided reeds. A circle has no beginning or end, and the hole in the middle was a doorway to the couple’s future.
21. Why are bells rung at a wedding? To scare off evil spiritsIrish and Celtic tradition held that the sound of bells drove away evil spirits, so bells rang as the couple left the church. Brides in Ireland still carry a small bell.
22. Why isn’t the groom supposed to see the bride before the ceremony? So he couldn’t back out if he didn’t like the look of herIn the days of arranged marriages the families kept the couple apart until the vows, so a groom who disliked what he saw could not call the deal off.
23. Why is raising a glass called a “toast”? A piece of spiced toast was floated in the wineIn 1600s England a piece of spiced, toasted bread was dropped into the wine to improve its flavour. Drinking to a lady’s health was “toasting” her.
24. Why is June the traditional wedding month? It is named for Juno, Roman goddess of marriageThe Romans thought a June wedding was blessed by Juno, goddess of marriage and childbirth. The story that people simply smelled better after a May bath is a myth.
25. Why are cans tied to the back of the wedding car? Noise was thought to scare off evil spiritsWedding parties once banged pots, rang bells and fired guns to frighten off evil spirits following the couple. Tin cans on a bumper are the last echo of the racket.
26. Why did the wedding cake become white? White sugar was expensive, so a white cake showed off wealthRefined white sugar was a luxury, so a pure white cake announced the family could afford it. Queen Victoria’s all-white cake set the fashion, and “royal icing” took her name.
27. Where does the “bridal shower” get its name? Friends showered a bride with gifts when her father refused a dowryA Dutch legend tells of a bride whose father would not pay her dowry, so her friends gathered small gifts to set her up. Victorians later hid the gifts in a parasol and opened it over the bride.
28. Why should “something borrowed” come from a married woman? So her happy marriage rubs off on the brideThe borrowed item is meant to carry the luck of a happily married woman to the new bride. It has to be returned, so the luck keeps circulating.
29. What does the “groom” in bridegroom originally mean? Simply “man”In Old English he was the brydguma, the bride’s man, from guma meaning man. The horse-tending kind of groom is a coincidence that crept in later.

More to write in with the editor

30. Why do couples exchange rings at all? Roman betrothal rings were a public pledge that a contract had been made.
31. Why is the maid of honour called that? She was the bride's chief attendant, in the sense of a lady-in-waiting at court.
32. Why do brides wear a tiara? Roman and Greek brides wore crowns of flowers and herbs; the jewelled kind came with royal weddings.
33. Why do some couples jump the broom? An African American tradition from the era of enslavement, when legal marriage was denied.
34. Why is the first dance a waltz? The couple opened the ball at formal European weddings, and the waltz was the ball's opening dance.
35. Why do guests sign a guest book? Church registers recorded witnesses to the marriage; the book is the party version.

Every question can be rewritten to be about her with the question editor, part of Make It About Her ($15 for 30 days).